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Feeling very un-confident with my music |
radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
  Posts: 2003 Location: Sunny Australia
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:22 pm Post subject: Feeling very un-confident with my music |
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Ok so title says it all. When I am in my own little realm at home making music I am always really happy with the sounds and love my modular sounds/keyboards etc.
I have played in bands all my life and played guitar since age 7, organ since age 10 and everything but drums in between (sitars everything I love sound no matter where it comes from and trying to learn a new instrument just so I can make the sounds is for me the best part, the modular though is a particularly tricky "instrument")
So I have a gig coming up at a local small club that I frequent which plays alot of alternative stuff, my GF is into Metal so we head down there every other week to check out the local acts and have a headbang (metal isn't exactly my thing but I can dig on anything that people put energy into)
This local club has decided to put on an electronic music night which basically apart from myself consists of mostly laptop DJ's doing the usual Drum'n'bass and dubstep stuff so popular at the moment.
While I do mess around with sounds from these genre's it isn't exactly my focus as I get annoyed very easily sitting down and working in Ableton for any length of time (apart from setting up silent way tracks and then tweaking the modular)
They have given me the first slot on the bill and I have an hour long set but all of a sudden for the first time in my life I have been struck by a feeling of overwhelming under-confidence in my material and I am really worried that I will look like a complete dick up there and that noone will really like what I am trying to do.
This is new to me as I have always felt very confident in my musical abilities no matter who or what I am jamming on but something about the whole bombastic nature that surrounds all the DJ's there really is making me second guess everything I do when trying to put this together and its completely screwing up my creative workflow.
I dont expect to do the same sort of stuff that they are or even to get the same level of response when they are playing stuff that is really popular but I really would love to perform and show some sounds that I love, even though I know it will be less popular with the crowd I just dont like the thought of being Booed off or heckled (have dealt with it before when I played in a Floyd tribute band and people would get tired during the Weird bit of Echoes and start carrying on and it made me feel rather shitty but at least when the other parts came in I knew that I could rip their heads off with my strat)
Do any of you fellow wigglers ever feel this way? or am I just being over paranoid. I should probably just pop a Zoloft and not give a shit but I cant understand why all of a sudden this is getting to me so much..
any thoughts fellas I really appreciate all the support that people have given me around here and everyone is always very positive in what they have to say, the old "dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all thing" but as anyone who plays live knows it can be absolutely brutal.  _________________ www.equinoxoz.com
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Ockeghem missa propecia
Joined: 24 Oct 2011 Last Visit: 17 May 2013
 Posts: 627 Location: USA VA
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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You don't say whether you will play the modular, or acoustic set?
Anyhow hope it goes well. I have a DJ gig for 80-year-olds this Saturday, and you know how rowdy they can get, at least until the nurse has to whip up some happy pudding...  _________________ My mouth laughs, but my heart weeps...
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| synthnut wrote: |
This is certainly a renaissance with bells and whistles on in the modular world. More MU is good for you, that's my motto...
TTFN,
Ben
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drewtoothpaste married to the sea
Joined: 06 Sep 2008 Last Visit: 17 May 2013
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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Go for it dude. It's interesting to see what you like about your work vs. what other people respond to. The only suggestion I would make is valium or whiskey instead of zoloft, SSRIs can take weeks to kick in. _________________ Do you wear nail polish?! Super Black Lacquers: Holographic, Glitter & Solid Nail Polish |
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radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
  Posts: 2003 Location: Sunny Australia
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Ockeghem wrote: | You don't say whether you will play the modular, or acoustic set?
Anyhow hope it goes well. I have a DJ gig for 80-year-olds this Saturday, and you know how rowdy they can get, at least until the nurse has to whip up some happy pudding...  |
Oh sorry I was planning a full modular set with some Minimoog and prophet 08 keys thrown in _________________ www.equinoxoz.com
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pulse_divider triangletooth
Joined: 17 Jun 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
 Posts: 1241 Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:13 pm Post subject: Re: Feeling very un-confident with my music |
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| radiodread87 wrote: | (metal isn't exactly my thing but I can dig on anything that people put energy into)
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A lot of people feel the same way, so put energy into yours and they'll dig on it as well! |
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clarke68 Making DIY modulars look cool since 2011
Joined: 11 Nov 2009 Last Visit: 17 May 2013
   Posts: 1077 Location: Bay Area, CA
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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I can definitely relate to the insecurity part, but not to the "I actually have a gig this weekend" part. Here's a couple of random thoughts that you are free to take or leave at your discretion:
1. Totally okay that you're nervous/insecure/etc. All that means is that you care about what you're doing, and you care about what people think. You said, "I am always really happy with the sounds and love my modular sounds/keyboards etc." It's going to hurt if people don't like what you're doing, that's the hard part, but the fact that you care is healthy.
2. It's good that you're going first! It's not like you're following some kid who'll have the crowd all pumped & dancing...you could be like the trippy warm-up guy.
3. An hour is a long set, even for someone great. Not saying you aren't great, I haven't heard your music, but to entertain a crowd for an hour with a modular you have to really bring it. Better to play a shorter set and leave them wanting more than the opposite.
4. Have a "fall back" plan in case it starts going bad. I'd say hit 'em with your favorite/best stuff as soon as you can in the set...if they dig it (or even if they don't hate it), awesome. If it starts to get hostile, turn on some beats. Seriously. Even abstract noise starts to sound cohesive if it's got a good groove going over top of it. It may not be your thing (or maybe it is...like I said I haven't heard your music) but people will put up with a lot as long as they can dance (or bang their heads...you mentioned this was a metal club).
Last edited by clarke68 on Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:20 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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ehdyn Wiggling with Experience
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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I dont think it's a good idea to be under the influence of anything while trying to perform your best.
Just assume the audience is intelligent, sophisticated, and that they want you to do well and will overlook any minor mistakes so they can have an enjoyable experience.
Nobody goes out looking to have a bad time..
Have you read about the theory of "Non-submersible units"? |
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radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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ehdyn Wiggling with Experience
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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Ha, I got that! I like drinking, smoking whatever but not while doing music professionally
When I was studying recording under some bigshot he had us do these tests and we noticed that just one beer can jack up your perceptions and increase the suckitude to no end..eye opening
Last edited by ehdyn on Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:39 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| ehdyn wrote: | Ha, I got that! I like drinking, smoking whatever but not while doing music professionally
When I was studying recording under some bigshot he had us do some tests and we noticed that just one beer can jack up your perceptions and increase the suckitude to no end..eye opening |
must admit I used to LOVE playing dark side of the moon stoned.....
but the modular stuff has alot more going on _________________ www.equinoxoz.com
infoequinoxoz@equinoxoz.com |
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ehdyn Wiggling with Experience
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Just try to imagine you're a tour guide, you know the territory better than anyone and that they trust your judgement-I call it playing ambassador |
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radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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guys this by the way is all fantastic advice, I really appreciate it so much!
Ok maybe if I by the end of the weekend upload a couple of tracks and ask for some brutally honest opinions that might be a good thing?
I mean seriously I can take criticism especially of the constructive variety. _________________ www.equinoxoz.com
infoequinoxoz@equinoxoz.com |
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ehdyn Wiggling with Experience
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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Sure, but not sure it will help-you have to be your own barometer
Say you lived in a swamp and you were an airboat captain giving tours and suddenly you got lost and people started panicking and saying ah lets use GPS, lets use a compass, lets use landmarks blablabbla this guy doesnt know what hes doing, hes going to get us killed...would you be strong enough to shout them down and figure out which way to go? |
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ringstone antipodean experimentalist
Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Last Visit: 17 May 2013
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 7:18 pm Post subject: Re: Feeling very un-confident with my music |
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| radiodread87 wrote: |
Do any of you fellow wigglers ever feel this way? or am I just being over paranoid. I should probably just pop a Zoloft and not give a shit but I cant understand why all of a sudden this is getting to me so much..
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Only ever played live once (well I did do "live on air" stuff as well, but it doesn't really count - much more comfortable). That experience put me off for what, 20+ years now? It really came down to my being over-ambitious, trying to reproduce what I put together in my little home studio, which was a complex mix of loops, samples, acoustic instruments, found objects, and electronics... Plus I've always had issues with interacting with large groups of people.
But it was an experience I will always remember, and at least I can pride myself on getting through it. If I was going to do it again (and I have been thinking along these lines recently): I would "rehearse" a simplified set with room for some improvisation, rather than an entirely improvised set. I would make sure I could still perform it, or switch to an alternate set, even equipment broke down.
I would research what sort of audience might be there and be mindful of how the gig was being promoted, so that I could tailor the set to my audience's expectations (or not play the gig if it fell outside my abilities to meet them).
Hope this helps. Make sure you let plenty of local wigglers know about the gig so they can be there to cheer you on, too. I would be there if I could!
Cheers
Blair _________________ Ecclesiastical Scaffolding Facebook
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Luka Super Deluxe Wiggler
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:18 am Post subject: |
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I felt so good after completing my first live set on my modular. While i dont have years and years of experience to draw sage advice ill suggest a couple points
Dont worry about trying to wow everybody - just work out something which can groove / drone / blip on comfortably.
Bring a bunch of mates to keep you in good spirits
Enjoy your set  _________________ .
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Just me Has enough VCA's
Joined: 10 Apr 2010 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:56 am Post subject: |
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Just do it. If the room is dark and you are lighted, you cant see the audience and if your monitors are up, you cant hear them. Much. I do a dozen shows a year here and the reception is different each time. I don't let it bug me anymore. Just practice your set and practice some fsilure drills. I had my main synth die a few shows ago and had to finish the night with a Monotron and some guitar pedals for 15 minutes. An audience member posted that one on Youtube. Go figure. _________________ Society for the Performance of Twentieth Century Program Notes. |
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negativspace Manhattan Analog
Joined: 13 Apr 2010 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:05 am Post subject: |
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I played live a few times, waaaaay back before I (or probably most of you) even had a modular - like 1998 or so. I was rocking an 808/909/606/202/303 + some mono and poly keyboards back then. Same kinda stuff, just different. I really enjoyed it the 3 or 4 times I did it - although moving all that shit to a gig was a chore and a half.
People who know electronic music will appreciate seeing it come live from a modular. People who don't will just be impressed that you know WTF that crazy blinky machine does. Some of them might just plain not get you, and they may respond derisively. Ignore them. Easier said than done, but if *I* can do it, anyone can. (Unerring self-confidence is not my strong suit either.) _________________ Analogue Haven ∙ CTRL ∙ EquinoxOZ ∙ EFN ∙ Foxtone Music ∙ PostModular ∙ Schneidersbüro |
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aumgn Common Wiggler
Joined: 10 Jun 2009 Last Visit: 29 Jul 2012
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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this should sort you out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsQzDNCkMdQ&feature=related
i love this nutter
Its called
' I dont give a fuck what anyone thinks , i do what I like and fuck em all .......
get complaints ? do whatever fucked them off more , and just keep annoying people as much as possible if thats how it goes ' Treat your audience with disrespect and forget about pleasing , ego massage and all that bollocks.
Be brave , tell anyone with ego centric issues to f off .
A charles manson stare also helps with no answer to them .
Hecklers.
Just find whats irritating them and loop it for 30 minutes.
I am not joking , this is the only way.
I once had a coke head who vj'ed a chill room i was booked to ' chillout ' and who got really aggressive 10 minutes after i started a live act and said '
' You really need to play more beats mate as your killing the vibe ' and so i played even slower , by the end i was playing dolphin noises and wind and he was really angry and kept staring at me for 2 hours but i had him.
It wasnt until later that the organiser said ' sorry about the vj , he was on coke and found your music made him really anxious as it was so stilling and mellow and calm '
sO dont take coke and then vj a chillout areas you backward c..t
I cant begin to share the number of times i have been insulted and talked to like a child when playing live sets by dj's in particular who think what they want is Divine law
Most dj are a very unique breed.( not all...some have open minds - like 1 % ?)
If someone says ' i am a dj ' i just hear ' i am an insecure cunt who cant write music but tried ' , has self loathing complexes and needs to be adored as his mum never loved him .
I need councilling for the number of dj's with ' opinions ' i have had to endure who think ' the ultimate universal truth on whats good music and bad resides in their anus ' along with their brains.
You may find one or 2 who come up and say ' cool mate - can i remix you ....
I find most will criticise you as your music doesnt fit their set and thats as fair as they think.
Does it work in my set / style ? will it make people adore me ? well no ? then its shite and worthless.
When wisdom was handed out dj's were like behind amoeba in the line or many.
back to the vid.
checkout 2.08 seconds .
I'm guessing the crowd in this particular video were really messed up as they guy would have been hung drawn and quartered at Ministry of sound or where all the egos play.
Adoration is your greatest enemy or those alos on the lineup who are slaves to it.
Have a laugh and if you encounter egos just use sound to annoy them out of the room. |
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mojopin Ultra Wiggler
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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yeah good advice..except for getting aggressive with your audience. that can only stem from insecurity.
one thing already mentioned, don't do an hour set if you can't pull it off. That is a LONG time. Aim for a half-hour and the djs can do what they do best..filling time. I would never be billed with djs again for the reasons listed above. And don't forget, your modular can out-boombassticize anything they put on so do it! |
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radiodread87 Super Deluxe Wiggler
Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Last Visit: 18 May 2013
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| mojopin wrote: | yeah good advice..except for getting aggressive with your audience. that can only stem from insecurity.
one thing already mentioned, don't do an hour set if you can't pull it off. That is a LONG time. Aim for a half-hour and the djs can do what they do best..filling time. I would never be billed with djs again for the reasons listed above. And don't forget, your modular can out-boombassticize anything they put on so do it! |
I really am not an aggressive person by nature nor in performance and while I may not like someones opinion I usually am the last person to get aggressive back about it, I guess I am just too chill and everytime I do get a bit annoyed it seems to result in only worse things happening so I think it would be counter productive to go out of my way to piss them off, especially considering this is A. a club that I like and frequent and B. there are bugger all clubs around that would actually even look at letting me do this. Its not that I really care what some guy who flips tunes from an ipod thinks really but I just didn't want to be laughed out of the room, ultimately though I think its good that I am on first as at least I wont get the whole "put a drop on it, would be better with a drop, wheres the drop?" I can be the trippy warm up guy that people have a beer and get a chill to before they go and grind on each other and you know what? that actually suits me just fine!
As someone said an hour long set IS a long time even when I used to play in bands an hour long seemed like quite a while...
BUT I had a breakthrough last night and worked out some stuff in Evilton so my idea is to basically have two modulars, my moog and a performance controller. I spent all yesterday sampling sounds and turning them into loops and then setting up silent way tracks that I can then clock the modular from. So it would be a blend, most of the beats etc I will cop out and send from the laptop, not what I prefer but it is ultimately what is more practical and some modular stuff so I can make some Zapps, trills, apreggios and maybe even a few basslines. Still real time wiggling but something there that fills out the Meat of it all rather than having the modualr be the entire tune (I will get there one day but I will need to practice that much more and get a few more things like some extra VCA matrix, another ES3 and a better audio interface so I can do more silent way tracks than the ES4 I have currently)
I worked out that I like to make "pretty" music the sounds I always end up getting are not aggressive or bombastic really and so rather than try and work against my natural energy I am better to just go with it and see what I come up with, I must say you guys have started to pull me out of what was a pretty deep hole and after reading alot of your comments I felt inspired. I ended up staying up till about 4am making a sort of pumpy house groove and I was jumping all around the studio tapping my foot so that made me really happy (too much red bull)
I am going to just do my best, most of my songs and things go for over 10 minutes anyway so if I run a bit short I can always just do my rendition of Dr Who and On the run which should eat up the remaining time
thanks so much to all of you I cant express enough how much I love this place and all its freaky and fun inhabitants. _________________ www.equinoxoz.com
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