Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Any music gear discussions that don't fit into one of the other forums.

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msegarra
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by msegarra » Sat May 23, 2020 2:06 pm

I think I’m going with the monotribe because I took your advice and asked her and she really likes the monotribe lol

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mg05
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by mg05 » Sat May 23, 2020 3:39 pm

Get her a OB-6 Keyboard instead!

She doesn't like it? You take it!

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by phesago » Sat May 23, 2020 3:43 pm

I made the mistake of buying my wife a fucking theremin. :/
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by onthebandwagon » Sat May 23, 2020 4:29 pm

What happened to the eurorack you were building her? Spent too much money on Hermès and Off-White and downsizing due to the economic crisis?
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Richard deHove » Sat May 23, 2020 4:45 pm

If she's a decent piano player then why not get her a decent piano. Your part of the deal could be to work out the best way to mic it up for recording. Perhaps even add a really good looping pedal so she could do some advanced overdubs.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Tofupancho » Sat May 23, 2020 5:57 pm

msegarra wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 2:04 pm
She loves my turtles CDA443B0-1579-4235-B64A-B40E3C249E38.jpeg
Haha looks awesome! I was just bein goofy, I imagine it’s very difficult to actually inhale molten glass.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Thelefthandpath » Sat May 23, 2020 7:11 pm

I don't understand why people need to have the same interests in a relationship. I've been with my wife for 22 years, married ten of those.

- I love synths, guitars, drums. She hates them.
- she loves gaming, I absolutely cannot understand why anyone enjoys wasting time gaming.
- she like Ed Sheeran, Cold Play etc. I like Esoteric, Godflesh, Mayhem, The Great Old Ones, Wolves In The Throne Room etc.
- she wears $500-1000 dresses etc. (it has a lot to do with presentation around her having quite severe Cerebral Palsy). I wear target tracksuits pants & metal shirts, spend my money on music gear and vinyl.
- I'm the stay at home Dad & she's the bread winner who funds my studio and vinyl.
- we have pretty much zero shared interests or hobbies, and it works so well because it means we have our own things to do & our own space.

I'd hate having someone who wants to do everything with me. My music is my space with my friends & my son.

Unless your partner actively asks to be a part of your hobby don't force it. It's a waste of your money and her time.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Art » Sun May 24, 2020 1:33 am

In her grad school days, my wife had to book a glass blowing studio at 5 AM. Man, that's one dangerously hot activity. Getting used to the clean music studio, I almost fainted when visiting her ceramic/glass studios!

@msegarra: I would discuss it with her really. If you have to guess, then get something you also like. Chances are it may end up in your hand!

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Technologear? » Sun May 24, 2020 3:43 am

msegarra wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 2:06 pm
I think I’m going with the monotribe because I took your advice and asked her and she really likes the monotribe lol
If you get it, make sure you resist adding it to your setup. Proves you bought it for her, not as an excuse to get one for yourself.
If you can't resist that, then you're probably buying it for the wrong reasons.

If she doesn't like it, offer to sell it and get something else. If that happens I +1 what Rex said, and the looper suggestion

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dubonaire
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by dubonaire » Sun May 24, 2020 3:47 am

Just ask Elektron to do a 'Cycles by Fendi'. Match made in heaven if you ask me.

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tIB
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by tIB » Sun May 24, 2020 4:24 am

My wife bought me (wonderful!) headphones and a guaranteed space in the house - that way she doesn't ever need to see or hear my hobby.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by ObsoleteModular » Sun May 24, 2020 4:25 am

lisa wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 9:57 am
To me it’s a nice idea but perhaps more about buying more gear than it is about getting her interested? If you want her to get into it just invite her to your sessions. Show her (briefly!) how things work, let her try things out (even if she turns out to be doing it ”wrong”) and hope that she’ll be be bitten.
TheMentat wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 9:47 am
This has got bad idea written all over it.
Haha! :D Why is that, exactly?
If the tables were turned 'd find it a bit creepy, if not intrusive. I've my own life and interests. I wouldn't want anyone to tell me what to do with my time. Could it pressure her? What if she's not interested? She might feel awkward or obliged. It could be read as "I'd like you more if you digged gear" or "you're not enough for me as you are"; if she's prone to such thought patterns. Not saying you are but this kind of thing is a controlling pattern for some. "You'll like what I tell you to like and I'll control your access to it."

All this could be true ... or maybe I've just dated some really terrible people and I'm broken ... :goo: :lol: :party:

You know her best but I think Lisa nailed it. Get her involved first. If she's genuinely interested she'll buy her own.

I think "let's do a thing together" will strengthen a relationship more/get you laid quicker than "here's a gift, take it, no pressure"

But to actually answer your question: A Teenage Engineering OP-1. It's the IKEA effect. Nothing says I love you like good Swedish design.

... God I need some therapy :help:

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Richard deHove » Sun May 24, 2020 5:22 am

Ceres wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 10:28 am
Have you ever seen that Simpsons episode where Homer buys a bowling ball for himself and gives it to Marge as a gift? That’s a bit what this sounds like. Why don’t you embrace what she is into and buy her a gift she wants?

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by KL1982 » Sun May 24, 2020 7:01 am

msegarra wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 9:44 am
I’m torn between the model cycles and the korg monotribe as a gateway drug into synths for my girlfriend who is awesome and intelligent but doesn’t understand why I love making music with hardware . So I’m thinking of those two currently namely because I love elektron gear and I miss my monotribe
But I definitely want something that she can learn to play with me and not just absorb it into my arsenal lol. Any suggestions?
I have a few suggestions that you probably won't like. But in the name of honesty, I'll air them.

With your attitude, I give it a year and your partner will have lost interest in you/will have dumped you.



Procrustes (Greek legend). Innkeeper with two spare beds; he'd offer weary travellers a bed for the night. One bed was short, the other long. He'd either stretch them to fit in the long bed, or chop pieces off to fit them in the short bed. The following night, he'd swap their beds, and repeat the process.

Common term in psychoanalysis, with the point being that we view the world in a procrustean manner i.e we want to constrict/stretch people to our own will/own way of seeing things.

...But our views change - at which point we want to fit people to our 'new bed'.


This is what you are doing.


...What if you lose interest in synths? Are you, in a procrustean manner, going to try to fit her to whatever your new bed is?



From a personal perspective:

If I want to play with a synth, I buy a synth.

If I want to play with a woman: well, she gets some holidays and nice toys for a month or so, we have some fun, then we part ways.

All very amicable, all good fun, and no psychology to worry about.



You don't need to follow my personal example, but I'd certainly suggest your stopping trying to fit your partner to your current bed - as it'll change.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by lisa » Sun May 24, 2020 7:26 am

Some rather bleak standpoints regarding relationships and the catenation of men and women in this thread. :)

In my view you can invite your partner to partake in your hobby without forcing it on him/her and without the inevitable destruction of the relationship. My partner is also my best friend and I love the fact that we patch eurorack and make music together. It's a good thing.
My second ever track using Mutable Instruments Rings. Here paired with Make Noise 0-coast and Arturia DrumBrute and Korg Minilogue. A rather bittersweet piece. ❤️


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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by oscilloscope » Sun May 24, 2020 7:46 am

Rex Coil 7 wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 11:22 am

quote]so wait, she's a "decent" piano player ... and you want to get her a tinkertoy like a monotribe to test her interest in synths? this is a horrible approach in my opinion. she's going to compare a "real instrument" (the piano) to some little squeaky box ... my guess is she won't take it seriously, too toyish, not a "serious musician's instrument" (so to speak). i mean, at least get her something with full sized keys ... something she can relate with and actually play pieces she's familiar with. that approach has a far higher likelihood of success ... it brings some of her world into the situation, along with bringing her into your world.
tinkertoy ?
squeaky box ?
toyish ?

:party:

It doesn't sport a 76 weighted-key Fatar keyboard, nonetheless, the Monotribe is a true classic.
For connoisseurs only, so if the gift is truly meant for the receiver (instead of for the giver himself) the OP may be more successful with a more conventional instrument.
Last edited by oscilloscope on Sun May 24, 2020 7:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by oscilloscope » Sun May 24, 2020 7:48 am

lisa wrote:
Sun May 24, 2020 7:26 am
Some rather bleak standpoints regarding relationships and the catenation of men and women in this thread. :)

In my view you can invite your partner to partake in your hobby without forcing it on him/her and without the inevitable destruction of the relationship. My partner is also my best friend and I love the fact that we patch eurorack and make music together. It's a good thing.
How does this relate to, or answer the OP question ?

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onthebandwagon
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by onthebandwagon » Sun May 24, 2020 8:03 am

Oh the gullibility from seemingly very intelligent people...
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by kinkujin » Sun May 24, 2020 8:23 am

Buy her a new iPad, good sized one, then get a few choice apps (very exciting stuff for music on iOS). Then she can discover what/if she likes or doesn’t like on her own. Pretty soon she can start teaching you and you’ll both be learning together. “Hey check this TC-11...”

If that way of music making doesn’t work for her she still gets a very useful iPad out of the bargain.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by booger » Sun May 24, 2020 9:02 am

onthebandwagon wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 9:59 am
Happy relationships are often about not sharing all of the same interests or trying to.
:agree:

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Shledge
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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Shledge » Sun May 24, 2020 9:27 am

lisa wrote:
Sun May 24, 2020 7:26 am
Some rather bleak standpoints regarding relationships and the catenation of men and women in this thread. :)

In my view you can invite your partner to partake in your hobby without forcing it on him/her and without the inevitable destruction of the relationship. My partner is also my best friend and I love the fact that we patch eurorack and make music together. It's a good thing.
I agree. I see too much toxicity when it comes to such hobbies online, hence the "lololol I hope the wife doesn't see this" type of jokes.

If you're not willing to share and communicate with one another, then naturally this toxicity will arise. Obviously forcing them or pressurising is bad, and having your own space to get away from stress is great, that isn't what I'd advocate, but even an occasional "hey, want to listen to what I'm making?" could really open things up with you and your partner. If they say no, that's completely fine, but at least they'd appreciate it.
Last edited by Shledge on Sun May 24, 2020 9:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by bitflip » Sun May 24, 2020 9:34 am

msegarra wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 2:06 pm
I think I’m going with the monotribe because I took your advice and asked her and she really likes the monotribe lol
If you go that route and need of inspiration, take it from this guy :hail:
.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by ektoquip » Sun May 24, 2020 10:43 am

A few long patchcords tied into a G-string.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Ray Charles said it; I believe it; that settles it.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by Standup » Sun May 24, 2020 10:49 am

My wife looks at the modular and she thinks it looks like a pain in the ass.

She did get herself an ms20, and has done cool stuff with it, but she’s just not as interested as i am. She’s a drummer, that’s what she’d rather spend her time on.

She’s a logical person, more than me—she’s a software developer and solves complex logical problems every day—but modular is not what she wants to get into.

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Re: Gift to get my girlfriend into my hobby?

Post by acgenerator » Sun May 24, 2020 11:11 am

msegarra wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 10:08 am
Mr_Sulcus wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 9:52 am
Is she actually interested in getting involved?
She said yes but like a concerned yes because i have too many hobbies (glass blowing oil painting, epoxy, so I think she doesn’t know which one it’s related to lol I might directly show her say screw the suprise to get her opinion first
His girlfriend training for Superbooth:
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